Scouser Joke


CoffE Moderator
Staff member
A scouser walked into the local job centre, marched straight up to the
counter and said:
"Alright mate, I'm lookin' for a job."
The man behind the counter replied:
"Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man
who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his daughter. You'll have to
drive around in a big black Mercedes, uniform provided. Because of the long
hours of this job, meals will also be provided and you will also be required
to escort her on overseas holidays. The salary
package is ?200,000 a year". Plus a Company BMW to drive on your Day Off,
The scouser said: "You're winding me up!"
The man behind the counter said "Well you started it!"

NB: for those of you that do't know, a scouser is someone from Liverpool and they have the reputation that they are lazy. Most are not BTW ;)

Stuart Kirkham

Super Moderator
Staff member
Here is another one. A guy goes into a shop in Bootle and asks for an Advent Calendar. When he comes out of the shop and looks at the calendar he finds all the windows are boarded up.
Stuart. ;) :wave:
Any time I read a scouser joke and the scouser talks, it is Toneboy's scouser impression that I hear in my head :eek:

And don't ask about his attempts at a Scottish accent - "BIG HEED!"



Staff member
At least get the statement right. ;)

"Heed, paper, now! Move that melon of your's and get the paper, IF YOU CAN!"

By the way, that's not a particularly fair criticism, seeing as I was still laughing at another person's Scottish accent when I was trying to do mine. :D